Whether you’re a fan of the holiday season or not, we can’t ignore the fact that during the coming months more and more people will spend a lot of time, money and attention on it. This, in fact, starts sooner every year: when summer is over, department stores are decorating their display windows already! Candy canes, stockings, Christmas trees, you name it…
This increasing focus on the holiday season causes “holiday anxiety”. Where does this stress come from? I personally believe that it has a different source than worrying about eating, drinking, decoration and presents. I think that it stems more from our need to experience memorable moments with the people that are dear to us.
More and more often, these moments of genuine attention are disrupted and they become less frequent. We seem to increasingly lose ourselves in our tablets and phones instead of in a good conversation.
There is a simple way to connect: asking the people you care about the right questions. Luckily for us, the holidays are the perfect moment for an inspiring conversation with your friends, family and colleagues. Without phones!
In this article, I share five questions that you could ask for a good, funny, deep, and / or personal chat. Perfect for giving more meaning to drinks and dinners!
#1 What are the three things that gave you the most energy
This is a good, positive question to break the ice and get everyone chatting. We frequently have a habit of focussing on everything that didn’t go as planned and thus has cost us energy.
By asking what has given you the most energy, you stimulate the other person to look at things from a different perspective. Hopefully, he or she will keep these things in mind next year (and it might give you some ideas…)
#2 With the knowledge you have now, what would you have done differently?
This is the ultimate question for reflection. Reflecting is a powerful way of acquiring insights into yourself and it generates more happiness and self-esteem. By asking this question, you can look at “mistakes” from your past in a different way and see them as valuable learning experiences that make you smarter!
#3 By this time next year, what do you want to have achieved?
I don’t want to go into New Year’s resolutions because I don’t really believe in them. I do believe that thinking about your goals is very important. If you have a clear view of your ambitions (big or small) you will be able to reach your goals! By sharing your answer in a group, the chance that you will do your very best is multiplied many times. Not only you want to attain them even more, but the others can also motivate you, help you, and maybe even participate. Win-win. Do you like these type of questions and would you like more? Every Friday, Vertellis shares a new and inspiring question that will help you to get the most out of your life!
#4 What has kept you up at night?
This can be a challenging question. A lot of people don’t really talk about how or what they’re feeling. “How are you doing?” gets frequently answered with “Good!”, and we often don’t get beyond this point. Sharing what’s bothering you doesn’t only relieve you, but being vulnerable in a social context is also an opportunity for more mutual trust and connection. All these benefits because of one simple question. Even though it might seem confronting, give it a try!
#5 What will you do for the first time in your life?
“A good life is the greatest danger for a wonderful life.”
Setting up your life pretty well and having everything on track sounds fine, but a danger actually lurks here. From the moment that everything is “fine”, you are less inclined to work on improvement or taking a leap of faith. Outside your comfort zone, you can actually reap the most rewards!
By asking the question “What will you do for the first time in your life (in the upcoming year)?”, you stimulate yourself to do new, exciting things. This also works perfectly when sharing it with a group because you feel more responsible to actually DO it!
Team Vertellis recommends making a bet. You will be more driven to achieve your goal!
What simple but powerful questions can bring about…
The fact that genuinely connecting with friends and family is being traded with online time on cell phones and tablets, frustrated me.
Many blogs, magazines, media outlets, and companies are promoting time offline. Pour yourself a drink, put down the phone, and take time for each other. Did you find this post inspiring? Share it and tag friends that might enjoy it as well :).
Fun fact: it started with a handwritten card game, and after one year it is THE game for the holiday season in the Netherlands – and it is now skyrocketing through Europe and the States!
Anxiety over whether the holidays will be sufficiently memorable and unique is not necessary when you know how to subtly ask the Vertellis questions of this article or our card game!
If you like questions like the ones in this article, you can take a look at our website and find out if you would like to play Vertellis with your friends and family! The most interesting, amusing, and sometimes most moving stories can be shared with the help of this little game.
Thanks for reading and we hope we can inspire you with our mission to stimulate time offline and bring people closer together.